Teen anger takes many forms. It may be  expressed   as indignation and resentment, or rage and fury. It is  the expression of teenage anger --  the behavior --  that we see. Some teens may  repress their anger and  withdraw; others may be  more defiant and destroy property. They will  continue their behavior, or it may  escalate, until they decide to look within themselves to  the roots of  their anger. But teenage anger is a  feeling, an emotion,not a behavior. And anger is usually caused by something going on in a teen's life.

Teen anger can be a frightening emotion, but it is not inherently harmful. Its negative expressions can include physical and verbal violence, prejudice, malicious gossip,

• Abuse
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Grief
• Alcohol or substance abuse
• Trauma

Teenagers face a lot of emotional issues during this period of development. They're faced with questions of identity, separation, relationships, and purpose. The relationship between teens and their parents is also changing as teens become more and more independent. Parents often have a difficult time dealing with their teen's new-found independence.

This can bring about frustration and confusion that can lead to anger and a pattern of reactive behavior for both parents and teens. 

That is, teens are simply negatively reacting  to their parent's behaviors, and parents react    back in an equally negative manner. This  sets  up a self-reinforcing pattern of  interaction. Unless we work to change our  own  behavior,we cannot help another  change  theirs. We need to respond rather than react to each other and to situations. The intention is not to deny the anger, but to control that emotion and find a way to express it in a productive or at least, a less harmful, manner.

1- Ask your child, “What part of your brain do you think you’re using right now, the lizard part or the thinking part?” if the answer is, “lizard part”, then ask, 



2- Is that working for you? Are you getting what you want?” If your child tells you “no”, then go the next question,  3- “What do you need to do to get back to the thinking part of your brain?” If the child says, “I don’t know,” let him or her know you can see the shift has already happened because your child is answering your questions. This is a good thing! If your child has calmed down a bit, ask if he or she needs some time to think about what just happened

so you can talk about it together and come up with a way to handle the situation differently next time.

If the child responds with a “no”, give a hug and say something like, “You are always so much nicer when you’re using the thinking part of your brain.” Then, walk away.